So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
sex in a hospital.. check
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
