So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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