12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
