Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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