fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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