So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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