you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
