Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
