I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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