I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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