Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
