I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
