We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
