the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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