What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
