More tranny stories later!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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