I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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