Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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