Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
