i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
