I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
