I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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