oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
