I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
