Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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