I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
