drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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