Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
