lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
