You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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