got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
