why do cheetos always look like penises
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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