I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
