I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
