We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
