my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
