I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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