I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
