tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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