no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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