I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
