I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
