I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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