i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
