I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
