That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
