Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
