I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
