I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
