Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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