please come you make the beer taste better
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
