There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you mean i was at the winter classic?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
